My article this year is about a collection of events that will forever change my life.
I started my last year of high school in a new school, got curtain bangs and regretted getting curtain bags, and so on and on.
I decided to refine this list and compile some of my thoughts of the year as well as a recollection of my favorite moments.
So, sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy this brief look inside my brain! I promise you will regret it.
As I previously mentioned, I am a senior in high school and the future is right around the corner. I listen as my peers share their dream schools and career aspirations, and I think I finally have my future planned out.
I want to be filthy rich but I want to do nothing all day.
Now, this sounds like I want to be a social media influencer, but I am thinking about something bigger: I want to be a part of the Royal family.
Unfortunately, there is no eligible Windsor my age, and I do not think Charles and Camilla are breaking up anytime soon, so achieving this through marriage is not an option.
Don’t worry though, like all great royals, I have a backup plan.
I am going to become a citizen of the UK. Then, I will get a job at Buckingham Palace and find some confidential material that could ruin the integrity of the institution that is called the royal family.
After that, I will blackmail them until they are forced to tell the public that I am Prince William’s illegitimate child he had with another woman.
Then, I will make my triumphant emergence out of obscurity, ready for being part of the royal family.
This list wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention one of the most discussed events of the year: the slap
Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at the Oscars sent the most aggressive wave of secondhand embarrassment I have ever seen. As an avid award show viewer, I sat in front of my television embarrassed but not shocked or enraged.
But sadly or hilariously, depending on your viewpoint, this wasn’t my most embarrassing moment of the year.
Let me set the scene for you. It was a cloudy Friday in the spring of my junior year, and as I walked out of the building in my Aerie flare leggings, I tripped on my pant leg.
It was bad!
My hands and knees were on the concrete, Airpods flew out of my ears and people observed this still embarrassing moment and unintentionally added to it by offering to help me up.
Like embarrassment, another emotion of mine has been very active this year: hatred. I have come to realize that I hate a lot of things in life, and even more importantly, I have realized that hating things is okay. This period of forced positivity we are experiencing as a society is, in my opinion, more toxic than just embracing your feelings no matter what they may be, whether it’s hatred or ecstasy. There is a difference between being a bully and being a hater. I don’t enjoy making fun of people and pushing them down. I just enjoy expressing things that annoy me in my daily life. This year, I embraced the fact that I am a hater and I encourage you to do the same.
Lastly, this is something that has weighed heavy on my mind and my heart since I first laid eyes on it this Halloween. Heidi Klum’s worm costume has truly altered who I am as a person and I will never forgive her for what she has done for me. Please google images at your own risk.
And that’s it for my year in review. Have a great winter break and I’ll see you next year!