Viking Call

Upper Merion High's Student Newspaper

Featured Op-Ed

I Am Better Than All of You (NOT CLICKBAIT)

It’s hard being me – I won’t sugarcoat it. In a world full of mid people, I stand out – and I attract a lot of haters. Don’t worry, I get it. Between my infectious smile, perfect sense of humor, and intelligence – there’s a lot to be jealous of. 

From day one, I knew I was special. In fact, on the day that I was born – I came out screaming and crying when I realized that the rest of the world didn’t hold itself to my standards. 

Growing up, my teachers and peers told me to “shut up” because they couldn’t bear to listen to my intellectual ramblings any longer – as I made them feel inferior. They wore their jealousy on their sleeves – with their emotions so strong one could mistake them for annoyance. 

Once I entered middle school, I graced my family with my prodigious flute skills. I was able to play hours on end, and sometimes,  my harmonious melodies were so powerful that my parents had to tell me to stop, for their mere mortal minds couldn’t handle me. As if I wasn’t already perfect enough – my musical abilities were revealed to be my hidden superpower.

Now, my extroverted and confident personality often leaves others fearful of my prowess and alpha male tendencies. In fact, adults have started to bow down for I have proven myself to be streets ahead on every level. Current AP Statistics teacher Jeff Bowlby noted:  “I can’t tell if [she’s] nice or mean. I’ll never know.” 

At the humble age of 16, I achieved what Michael Scott was unable to – I am feared and loved. 

I like to think I’ve made it in life – all that’s left is for the rest of the world to discover my talent. I mean – I’m practically giving the world an industry plant – what’s the hold up? I can act, sing, edit – what more could you want in a person? 

Wow. It really is great to be me but, as an empath, I feel for all of you.

Sometimes, I stay awake at night and cry for the general population. It must be so difficult living like a normal person. Really, how do you survive? 

Don’t answer that. You’re not me so I know your life sucks. 

I don’t want to encourage your insecurities any longer so I leave you with this: when in doubt, think “What would Malak do?”


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Malak is a sophomore and this is her second year writing for VC and her first year as EIC. When she's not writing questionable literature, she enjoys creating video segments for the Morning Buzz, participating in Speech & Debate, playing the flute in band, working in stage crew for the UM Underground Players, among many other extracurriculars. Outside of school (and procrastinating), Malak can be found watching an unhealthy amount of Netflix while drinking an unhealthy amount of cold brew.