There is nothing greater on this fine planet than a pristine, white, crisp piece of 8.5 x 11 inches piece of printing paper. The rest of the United States is in agreement with me, as we use 85,000,000 tons of paper a year (680 pounds per person). The versatility of paper comes as a remarkable feat and there’s no idea too ridiculous: planes, fortune tellers, boats, hats, cranes, and truly anything that comes to mind.
Despite the frequent use of paper, the people of this world consistently make the same mistake: they use the wrong side of the paper. You may be thinking both sides of the paper are the same, what is this lunatic talking about? Beloved reader, you could not be more wrong. Before you continue, I must ask you to stop and go grab a piece of 8.5 x 11 inches printing paper and a writing utensil.
At first glance, both sides of the paper appear to be the same, but under a microscopic lens, they are structurally different. Now, take your writing utensil and write “Malak is the best person ever.” on each side of the paper. On side A, the best side, you will notice that the ink flows much smoother, and absorbs the pigment rather nicely. On side B, however, the writing is distorted, and the ink is smudged.
The origin of paper can be dated back to AD 105, 19 centuries ago. For far too long, the people of this world have been misusing paper and it is time to educate them. There is no doubt about it, side A is the superior side of paper and I frankly, am tired of listening to those who use side B.
Citizens of the world, I urge you to join me in support of side A, and work to enlighten our communities on what they’re missing out on. This is a prevalent issue that so many fail to speak on, and it is a call to action. We need to hold paper companies accountable for not making both sides of the paper as magnificent as side A.
Back in the 1700s, our founding fathers once saw the value of paper products and rebelled against the British, and although we had two different goals, our love for paper is the same. Think of our ancestors and think of our descendants.
Join me in support of the side A movement – there is no other option.
